Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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