this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
