The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
