he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
