i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
