Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
