yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
