the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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