I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
