It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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