Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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