Ketchup is God's man juice
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
