Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
