McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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