That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
