It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
