ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
