My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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