Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
