in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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