coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone says I win the strip club
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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