If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
