Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize