If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
