are you still at the devil's house?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize