Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
