Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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