who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
