"it" just moved
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
