I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
