People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
