This house was built for laser tag.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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