new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They have beer where we have blood.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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