On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize