your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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