Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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