Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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