your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
tonight lets celebrate not being married
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
