I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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