ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
