are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
