I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
