Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
