She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
