I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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