We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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