i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
