I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
