We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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