no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
