dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
