I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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