just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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