Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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