Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
