Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
