Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
