SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
