I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
