so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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