fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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